Help Wanted: Redeemer

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Man needed to pay the price for sins of mankind. Must live totally sinless life, then become a sin offering and die on the job. Will be beaten and humiliated and experience more suffering and anguish than any other man. Demanding schedule, constantly on the go. No guaranteed home or income. Must quickly train leadership to replace himself. Must totally fulfill all the law of Old Testament. Must be absolutely obedient to the will of Senior management.

To Qualify: Must be male, minimum age 30, father must be God; mother must be of house and lineage of David. Must have perfect blood and spotless record. Must be born in Bethlehem, raised in Nazareth. Individual must be perfect physical specimen; self-motivated, aggressive personality with a burning desire to help people; absolutely must have tremendous knowledge of Old Testament, and a firm reliance on Biblical principles. Must incorporate the believing of Abraham, the faithfulness of Joseph, the meekness of Moses, the commitment of Jeremiah, the courage of Joshua, the patience of Job, the power of Elisha, the vision of Ezekiel, the wisdom of Solomon, the heart of David, the eloquence of Isaiah, the boldness of Samuel, the foresight of Noah, and the love of God.

Wages: Holy spirit (without measure) to start, additional payoff in doing the will of God and receiving revelation as necessary to complete the job. Constant, on the job training, supervision and guidance by top-level management.

Working Conditions: Dark at times due to frequent power failures in the working environment (the world), but will always have enough light to continue working.

Benefits: Position could lead to highly desirable position in the future if job carried out successfully.

Worker's Compensation: Injuries sustained on the job, including death, well compensated by new body after promotion. Management will highly promote name upon successful completion of job, and entire Publicity Department devoted to getting name before multitudes. Will assume Presidency of expanding international venture (The Ministry of Reconciliation), as head of a body of well-equipped and organized members ready to move dynamic new product on world market. All in all, tremendous eternal potential for growth and rewards and return on initial investment of giving life.

If qualified, you will be contacted by management. No need to apply.